As I thought about what I wanted to write as the girls turn 2 years old, I again experienced a flood of emotions as I think about where the girls are today compared to 2 years ago… So I got up from the toilet (my favorite spot for “me” time) and began to write…
The Past: There are still moments when I feel sad and guilty about how the girls came into this world and how Declan had to deal with having only one parent around for 3 months and then have his world turned upside down within weeks to have 3 baby sisters that needed our attention 100%. But there are moments where I’m proud – proud of the girls for how strong they are, proud of Declan for how well he’s done transiting to being a big brother of 3 sisters and proud of us for how we’ve managed these past few years.
I was traveling for work this week and most of my colleagues know, ask and are curious about the girls, especially since they are all well aware of them approaching 2 since they saw it all happen 2 years ago… We were talking about when the girls were born and those first few months. I told them something that Andy and I have talked about frequently, and now I’ll tell all of you… There wasn’t a moment in the girls life while they were in NICU that I was worried that they wouldn’t be ok. Ok in the sense of being alive and being able to be normal… It’s a hard concept to understand for others I am sure, but both Andy and I just never worried about that… Sure, we worried about the next ultrasound of their heart, or the next brain scan or the next blood transfusion or the next test they were running, but we never worried about whether they would be ok… We just knew they would be ok… Thinking about this helps us get through each day, each specialist visit and each temper tantrum – we know they are going to be ok…
The Now: There are moments that I absolutely want to walk out the front door and stay away from the house for hours, days, or even months because everyone is screaming, crying, vomiting, pooping, not sleeping or not eating. But there are moments that I want to pinch myself and re-think the vasectomy that Andy got (Andy will kill me when he reads this) because we have the most amazing, brave, strong, adorable, loving, kind and full of life kids in the world. Have you ever stopped in a house full of 4 kids who are 5 and under and just listened? It’s usually loud, insane and not easy to do, but I’ve been doing this lately and I just think – wow, these are our loud, crazy and happy kids – we are so lucky…
The Future: Andy and I are forward thinkers… We are constantly talking about the future – what our next house will look like, how we’ll afford weddings or collage, where we want to live, where the kids should go to school and what the kids will be for Halloween next year J I can’t wait to see our kids as teenagers, as young adults and as adults. At the young age of 2 the girls have such distinct personalities and I hope that they draw from their past to be brave, strong and independent in the future. I have to say that although I’m exhausted just thinking about these next few years, I’m excited to see what the future holds…
Here are some pictures from our day today… This is the best one that I could get all day (L to R: Stevie, Aven & Bria)
And the making of this picture...
Opening gifts...
Bria enjoying her gift from Grandma Mary...
Aven enjoying her gift from Auntie Amy...
Stevie just enjoying :-)
Aven hoarding...
Bria...
Aven the diva...
Declan the ham...
Diva Aven again... this time with her tiara on :-)
Since I took off work, we went down to Princeton campus to meet up with Em at her work - and then went to dinner. What's wrong with this picture? Besides the fact that I wasn't doing anything since Andy had Declan on his shoulders and pulling the wagon.... Andy had shorts and a tshirt on - I mean seriously, it was COLD!!!
Lunch with Auntie Em!
And eating mac n cheese with their cupcakes with candles tonight... Declan helped them blow them out :-) (L to R: Stevie, Aven & Bria)
