Happy Thanksgiving (belated)!

We had a great Thanksgiving and I was able to to get some good shots of the kids (before the girls puked on themselves :-) Dad and Judy spent the holiday again with us and it has been great to have an extra 2 sets of hands around. I told Judy yesterday that they could just move in with us or at least live right next door. She seemed to think that we would get sick of them and said they would just come out whenever we needed them to keep us sane (or to just be sure to call before we went insane). I told her we would be calling about 20 minutes after they leave on Monday :))

Some may not know this, but to get a decent picture of the girls is like conquering world hunger. And to get one of them all smiling is an act of god.  Throw Declan in the mix of all that and get him to smile, well I don't even have a good comparison for that... Nevertheless, sometimes my favorite shots are of them not cooperating and I've just come to the realization that it will only get worse before it gets better, so celebrate small wins...

Here's a pretty good one that I got Thursday. All were "smiling," even though they weren't all looking the same way :-) And no Declan...

L to R: Stevie, Aven and Bria...

Aven :-)

This is classic... So Stevie is intent on getting my cell phone (which is behind her)...

She's so happy she got it...

Uh oh... Here comes Aven...

And then she got it from her and Stevie is clearly unhappy!

But then, her attention is diverted to another toy in toyland :-)

Few shots of Daddy and Decky...

And there it is...

And here are a few good shots as well... They all tell a story :-) Em and her boyfriend Jeff (news flash - she is also moving in with him :-)) So Aven's not so sure about Declan. Stevie is a little unsure herself and Bria doesn't care becasue she is playing with something...

Declan smothering his sisters per usual...

Jeff trying to get Declan to chill and look at the elf on the shelf. Aven is still concerned about her brother and can't take her eyes off him... 

Then I give up on getting Declan in the picture and zoom in on them and the girls. Notice here that Aven has still not taken her eyes off Declan. Too funny!

The first year...

I actually did this video when the girls first came home, but the music wouldn't upload on youtube... I added some more pictures and did it again and it worked... Most of you probably never saw the pictures of the girls when they were in NICU, mostly because I was reluctant to as I thought it would "over-worry" some people. So now we are ready to share... Enjoy!

The faces of Stevie..

We got some very good news regarding Stevie late last week... She had a cardiologist follow up - if you remember when she was released from NICU she had a small hole in her heart between the two lower ventricles. At the time they thought it would potentially close by the time she was 1 year old. Regardless it wasn't a huge worry at the time and they asked us to come back once she turned 1. So that's what we did last Friday. They first listened to her heart, and they didn't hear the murmur (which is the same result as other Doctors the past few months), which was good. They did the thing with the prongs and the sticky things all over her chest (can't for the life of me think of what that is called) and then they finally did an ultrasound of the heart. The results from all the tests was that she still has a very small hole, however they still think it will close and even if it doesn't, it shouldn't cause her any issues later in life.  They said that when she is 3 or 4 and our ped still hears a murmur that we can come back in (or if we just want to come back in) to have her checked out again. But the good news is that it's not a big deal and they  barely found it, so it's very small...

Stevie was an absolute angel during the whole appointment (per usual). I think we were there for about 3 hours in total and she didn't make a single peep, besides giggling and babbling. We were chatting with the ultrasound tech and it was interesting because she was telling me that her and her husband had just done a round of IVF, but that it didn't take. She was so positive and knew that it would happen for them, and it reminded me of the fact that we didn't have to go through the challenges and ups and downs of having babies. Although we didn't necessarily have 4 kids planned in the cards, I know we are lucky that we have them :-) The funny part was that after further talking to her, I discovered that her husband was the girls eye doctor (who I absolutely love and who I think is famous :-)) I told her that I was sure he didn't remember us since he is a prominent preemie / baby eye Doctor (and because he is famous for our area), but while we were waiting for the results on Stevie, she called him and he remembered us (even where the girls were located in the NICU) and talked about our family. I thought that was pretty special as I know he sees thousands of babies a year...

In honor of Stevie's positive heart results I wanted to post a few pictures of our sweet angel. She is very close to crawling and I'm expecting it to happen any week now. She is becoming a lot more vocal and a bit more aggressive than she used to be. She is definitely going to show her sisters one day that it's not okay to box her out and to crawl all over her - and we are looking forward to that day :-)

Milk Money...

This past Wednesday the girls had their 1 year doctor appointment. I love their pediatrician and all the people at the office. The thing I love most is that our Doctor complements Andy and I and tells us what a good job we are doing as parents. I think it's so unnessesary, but cute and appreciated all in the same. She loves the girls and they really like her. Mostly I think they love her cute shoes she alwasys wears and the huge rock she has on her finger.  Now that I know she drives a nice car too (because I think Andy stalks her), I think we should be friends outside of normal office visits.

She checked out all the girls and said they were doing great and getting bigger and bigger. They are all still VERY small, but their growth continues to be consistent. Developmentally, they are on track for their adjusted age (Steve is still a bit behind) and overall she is really pleased. She was surprised when she walked in and they were all over the place (see picture below). Which has made these visits pretty easy now that they can just go exploring everywhere.... She also thinks its so funny to see such little babies sitting up, crawling around, etc. It's totally going to be a freak show when they start walking as little as they are.

It was pretty funny at the end of the appointment we went to the "shot room," which we also refer to as the "room of pain" (I accidently called it that in front of a 5 year old and her mom gave me the look of death). There were a ton of people waiting before and after us. So when we were up Andy took each girl in one by one (I can do puke and poop, but I don't do shots) and then would bring each one out balling. So by the last one, I was standing in the hallway with about 15 people waiting behind us and I was holding two screaming, crying babies... One of my fondest memories of the week :-)

One of the most exciting things that their Doctor told us is that we can start to transition to Milk. Although the girls are small, they have continued on their growth chart and she didn't see any reason to wait to transition. Andy and I did a our happy little girls dance jumping up and down clapping... I didn't even think about the transition part, I was just doing the money calculation in my head and was thinking about what I could buy with our new found windfall. I honestly thought they would be on formula until their adjusted age of 1 in February. After about 20 minutes, we figured out we would be saving between $400-$500 per month - that could buy a lot of beer, or purses, or shoes, or fantasy football crap, or diapers (snooze!) We told some people we would be spending it on booze and strippers, but after further thought, that just doesn't sound interesting either. Quite honestly, we've started the transition by replacing one bottle a day with milk versus formula, but I think we will make a slow transition over 2 months. Not so much becasue they don't tollerate the milk (they have all sucked it down), it's more that I don't want their growth to be impacted and really Stevie still gets most of her calories from formula as she isn't on table food yet, and overall isn't a terrific eater just yet. The other 2 girls are eating more and more table food, so I feel more comfortable with them. So we may have a delayed windfall, but that's okay - I can plan ahead more :-)

The girls at their doctor appointment... Chaos!

Bria trying to show me something...

The faces of Bria...

Well today, we only had one happy person in the house (including all adults and kids) and that was Bria. Aven and Stevie are sick (again) and have runny noses and a ton of snot in them, Declan was his usual self which was different ever hour of the day, Daddy had a little too much to drink last night and mommy was tired and also starting to feel sick... So all and all it was a long day.

Andy and I did however get to have some adult time and we went to a party with a few of the other parents of kids Declan goes to school with. We had a great time and before we knew it, it was 11:30 (hence the exhaustion and hangover). Em and Jeff were nice enough and came to watch the kids. We all put the girls down for the night and then Andy and I scooted out to the party. Of course they had to deal with Declan, which is why I'm not sure Jeff will ever come over to our house again :-) All and all, it was a great night and we were happy to get out, even if only for a few hours...

Since Bria was the only happy one today, I took a few candids of her... So happy while she is pushing her sister to get out of the way...

She's up to something...

Doh! Serious bed hair after her nap...

I'm gonna get you! Look at how her hair looks red in this picture...

So happy! And we can see what's been bothering her and her sisters these last few weeks - her top 2 teeth came through yesterday...

Girls Birthday...

I thought I would post more pictures from the girls 1st Birthday... We didn't do much for their Birthday - Andy's mom, cousin (Jessie) and uncle (Mark) were all visiting so we picked up a few cakes and then did a low key night. Em and her boyfriend (Jeff) joined us as well and we had a fun night! Here's some pictures from the evening...

Sweet sisters...

Bria...

Aven...

Sweet Stevie...

Jessie and the girls (L to R: Aven, Bria & Stevie)

Girls cakes!

While singing Happy Birthday...

Aven...

Stevie...

Bria...

And of course Declan got his own cake, which he proceeded to lick...

Opening gifts and eating all the paper...

Bria and Aven excited about their gifts...

Stevie...

Auntie Em and Stevie...

And then the end of the night came and they looked like they should be in flock of seagulls band...

The Girls are 1!!!!!

Today marks a huge milestone... The girls turned 1... Here's the picture of the day...

I’ve been working on this post for a while, mostly in my head, so now it’s time to put it down on paper (or computer J)… I get really emotional when I think about the girls turning 1. It’s such a mixture of emotions that honestly it’s hard to put into words. I think about the past year and I have feelings of happiness, love, accomplishment, astonishment, admiration, gratefulness, nervousness and guilt. Let me explain…

I feel happiness because we have three beautiful miracles in our life. I can honestly say that I don’t know what life would be like without them and have to remind myself on occasion that they weren’t part of the master plan (whatever that may have been)… There’s a reason that we had spontaneous triplets, I haven’t quite figured it out yet, but I’m happy that we have these angels in our lives.

I feel an indescribable love for them… They are happy, health little girls that I want to protect until the end of time… They say mothers of sons can be challenging because they don’t want to let go of their baby boys to another woman. I’m not sure I’ll be that way with Declan (probably), but I know I’ll be over-protective of our girls. I just feel like they have been through so much and have so much life to live that I don’t want them to feel any pain or sadness, ever. I never knew I could love the way that I love our children…

I feel accomplishment in what Andy and I have done this past year… People say parenthood is one of the most ungrateful jobs (in the sense that you don’t get a bonus, or pay increases or a pat on the back from your boss), but I want to give us a huge high five for what we have done. Although it wasn’t in the “plan” for us to move away from our family and friends and soon after have triplets, I feel like we’ve done a pretty darn good job.  We may not be winning parents of the year anytime soon, but I think we could come in towards the top percentile J.  We’ve got a lot of years in front of us and I’m certain a lot of ups and downs, but the fact that we’ve been able to live through their birth at 26 weeks, 102 days of NICU, various challenges of three infants, virtually no sleep, Andy being home with them every day, me being able to continue with my career, while doing it all with some help from our family; I feel like we’ve just won the gold medal after doing a double back handspring on the balance beam…

I’m astonished by them every single day… I’ve heard people say that when you raise a child the days drag on and the years fly by… With multiples I feel like it’s multiplied. I’m astonished at how strong these little girls are and what they are doing. I know they are a year and they aren’t doing a lot of the things that “normal” 1 year olds are doing, but the fact that 2 of them are crawling, pulling themselves up and all are on the cusp of saying their first words is astonishing… What’s more astonishing is that they are healthy (little) girls. I know we have a long ways to go to know if their prematurity will actually affect them, but if you didn’t know they were 1, you would think they are just really advanced 6 or 9 month olds, based on their size. Although I feel accomplished in what we have been able to do as parents, I am astonished and amazed at what they do every single day. It’s the most humbling experience to be their mom…

I have admiration for Andy and Declan. I admire Andy for who he is and what he has sacrificed to take care of these girls’ day in and day out. I admire him for his strength and positivity. I admire him for supporting me in my career. I admire him for being my rock. I admire him for being the father that he is. I admire Declan for how he has dealt with going from being an only child to having three baby sisters. I admire him for the eternal love that he has for his sisters. I admire him for dealing (not always peacefully) with not being the center of attention. I admire him for the brother he is and is going to be.

I am grateful for everyone that has helped us over this past year, from my sister moving here to help, to our parents visiting often to lend helping hands, to the amazing nurses and doctors that the girls had their first 3 months of life. I am grateful for the thoughts, prayers and positive thoughts that I felt every single day that the girls were in NICU. I am grateful that we were able to bring our three beautiful girls home from the hospital. At least once a week I hear about multiples that didn’t make it or 1 or 2 that did. I could not imagine the pain of going through something like that and I am grateful that we didn’t have to. I am grateful that the girls are healthy.

I am nervous about what the future holds. Anxious might be a better word. I know I can’t control what the future brings, but the pessimist in me (which still exists after being married to the most positive man on earth for the past 10 years) keeps thinking about when the shoe is going to drop. I feel like we’ve been so lucky so far and I’m nervous about whether or not our luck will continue. Andy likely disagrees with my feelings on this completely, because he believes in the power of positive thinking, but its still how I feel. When or will we see the effects of the prematurity on the girls, will they ever catch up developmentally or in size, will they have any behavioral or learning disabilities. I know people have these fears for any child, but with what the girls went through I can’t help but feel anxious about what’s to come.

I feel guilty about how early they came… I’ve been able to put this in the back of my mind and not think about it too often, but it stings when I see and hear about other multiple moms carrying their babies until 34 weeks, or even 29 weeks. I feel a stab every time someone asks me how old they are and I tell them they are “almost a year” and there is a look on their face to which I quickly say “well they were born really early, so they are small.” I feel hurt when people say that I “only” carried them 26 weeks so that’s why I didn’t get “huge” (news flash, I was huge). I feel guilty that I can’t be with them 24/7 and am constantly conflicted with having a career and being the best mom that I can be to them and Declan.  I know deep down that there was nothing that I could have done differently that could have kept them cooking longer, but it doesn’t stop me from thinking about it.

I’m certain there are many, many more adjectives that I could use about the feelings that I have had over this past year and how I feel now. But one thing I do know is that every year at this time, I will be emotional about how far our little miracles have come. This is the hardest thing that I have ever done, but I couldn’t imagine not doing it… I love you Bria, Aven and Stevie, Happy Birthday…